“Love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.” – Anonymous
There’s a misconception in culture that believes that there is a Mr. or Mrs. perfect waiting in the wings for your love. Pop songs, rock ballads, social media, rom-coms, literature, and every other medium of communication tell us the following lie:
“You are only half of a person until you meet your other half.”
When I attended college, I was certain that I’d meet the right girl to marry during those four years. In fact, there was a constant joke on campus about “ring before Spring” – finding the love of your life before graduation. Somehow, we were going to run into each other at the perfect time…I just knew it.
In fact, every single girl I ever took on a date never worked out. I just kept striking out. There’s something about being rejected by a girl in college that feels like the sky is falling…Maybe it was simply the lack of sleep and over-indulgence of pizza. I dunno. What I do know is that I thought I had met “the one”…50 different times in four years.
Then I moved to LA. I met a girl, we spent way too much time together, and I got too invested. What happened? She dumped me a couple months later. I thought she was the one. Looking back, I’m so glad that didn’t work out…She didn’t eat anything dairy. Pizza is my main food group, y’all. Thank you Jesus for your foresight into that misadventure!
As I continued to journey through the coming years as a single dude, the more I became aware that I didn’t need a relationship to be complete. I wasn’t a half; I was called to be a whole human being in Christ. It was absolutely OK if it was just me and God for that season of life. My identity started to become less about finding “the one” and more about knowing the One.
Beth and I met at Starbucks several years later, leading to a perfect marriage, no arguments, and nothing but awesomeness.
Then I woke up to discover that she actually had flaws…Not what I signed up for! How could she do this to me?!?! However, she eventually realized that I wasn’t as perfect as I appear (I have been known to deceive many a woman over my lifetime). There was no “you’re my other half” fulfillment. Instead, it took time for us to begin walking with one another, both in our wholeness and our brokenness, not looking for life’s answers in the other person.
If you’re single and you’re looking for “the one”, what if you chose to simply become one – a whole person, rooted in the identity of Christ? What if you stopped looking for another half, which leaves you feeling a void that can’t be filled by another broken creature?
The human spirit was created to be whole in our Creator, not in other human beings. Until we stop searching for wholeness in all the wrong places, we will never realize that our true Other Half has been with us all along.