“I don’t know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving.” – John Green
It’s in the quiet of night that I remember that I’m simply human, not this alter-ego who parades around the daylight like he’s figured it all out. It’s at night when our secrets come out in the dark, reminding us that we are frail, broken, and longing to be a part of something bigger than ourselves.
As I write this, it’s getting a bit late, Beth just went to sleep, and I’m thinking too much. What’s new? I always think too much…
Yet, something about tonight is different. It’s like the earth tilted just ever so slightly, leaving me hanging onto impressions that I would have otherwise tossed aside.
Tonight I put up a a simple post on my social media feeds that said:
Suffering from anxiety can feel incredibly lonely, especially when it’s in public. I’ve been there. You’re not alone. It does get better.
To which a friend of mine replied:
“I feel like a downer but WHEN???”
Good question, to which I don’t have a concrete answer.
When does the pain leave? When do we feel like we’ve accomplished something truly meaningful? When do dreams come true? When does the world stop losing its mind? When will God show up in the mess of our lives?
Yet, even so, hope remains.
We can hope without knowing the answer to “when”. We can find beauty in the moment without feeling 100% wonderful. We can know that God already stepped into our mess when we look at the life of Jesus.
When you will feel better, I just can’t say. When life will make more sense is too hard to tell. Yet, even then, your life is much more than your feelings and circumstances.
Even in the midst of fear is the beauty of a broken prayer mixed with tears.
Even in the raging storm of depression, beauty still surrounds us in creation, art, friendship, love, life, and imagination.
Even when we feel like God has abandoned us, we can turn and see His fingerprints everywhere: on the person we just met, impressed on the pages of a comforting book, and in the middle of a melody that reminds us that we’re human.
Whatever you’re going through tonight, know that you’re not alone, know that you matter, and know that hope is always available.
You’re not alone. It does get better.