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A Year’s Worth of Freedom: How I Found Freedom In Sacrificing My Addiction to Jesus

A Year’s Worth of Freedom: How I Found Freedom In Sacrificing My Addiction to Jesus
by Nadia Thomas // Instagram & Twitter

One year since I’ve been set free.

Free from the self mutilating habit I had developed at thirteen years old.

The self mutilating habit that became just that, a habit. Most people mutilate their bodies in the way that I did to release the pain trapped inside their bodies. Of course that’s how it started, but it ended as nothing but something I did for years “just because I felt like it”.

This habit overtook my life for too many years. It became an addiction, a part of who I was. It was rare that I would see myself go a single day without the mutilation I inflicted on myself. Many people ask me about the three dozen scars on my single arm and I tell them they’re my survival story.

You see, my scars are proof that God heals. Breaking free of this addiction was something I never could have done if He didn’t free me of the continuous thought I had of wounding myself. Self harm is a trap. It’s darker than any darkness I’ve ever known. But Jesus? His light shone brighter in the darkest spots than any light I have ever comprehended and ever will. I surrendered this habit to Jesus and He took it and showed me freedom. I have never turned back and I never will. I found my last razor and threw it away two months ago, whereas a year ago I would’ve held onto it with the thought of “what if”.

Looking at the number 365 in my countdown app, I’ve never felt so accomplished in my life. There’s a certain kind of joy in my heart that I can’t comprehend. A certain kind of joy that only comes from surrendering yourself, your habits, your addictions to Christ.

This was an addiction that hindered me from seeing and living life to the full. I never thought there was more to life than mutilating my own. But Jesus? He came in at the perfect time and set me free. This year has been a long journey of hardships and temptations but not a single time I turned back to the thing that held me by a string. While this addiction was holding me by a string, God was still there holding me with His hands. He never and has never let me fall.

You see, not many can comprehend His light unless they’ve waged war with darkness. He has won my war. He has won every battle the moment He took up the cross to free me of this addiction. I’m forced to look at the scars on my body daily, but they’re my favorite reminder that the light of Jesus overpowers any darkness that may come my way. I wear them as my survival story.

I got this tattoo (shown below) over the very first wound I inflicted on myself, it means “God is greater than the highs and lows”. It’s because He is. On the mountain top and in the valley, He is greater than any addiction you may have or currently suffer from. I surrendered this addiction to Him and He now uses me as a vessel of His glorious ways.

Thank you to my soon coming King for surrendering Yourself on the cross to give me the free gift of freedom in eternal life with You. I love you, Jesus.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” {2 Corinthians 5:17}



One Comment

  1. Thank you so much for sharing Nadia. You remind me so much of my daughter Sophie and I pray she has an equally powerful revelation of the healing power that God has for each of us. You are a gem. Keep sharing your story as God continues to use you, grow you, transform you and love you. xx

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