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Tearing Me Apart: How Can We Overcome The Heartache of Rejection?

“Why do you put your self esteem in the hands of complete strangers?” – Helena Bonham Carter

We’ve all felt the pain – that horrible moment when another human being rejects us. No one is exempt to this travesty; no one is immune. Rejection is often a virus to the heart, causing self-doubt, self-loathing, and insecurity.

Rejection wears many masks:

The parent who is always disappointed in you.

The peers who label you a misfit.

The “friends” who abandon you when you need them most.

Rejection is painful. It’s as if we are being torn apart – our true selves being severed from the image others project onto us. We have a good idea of who we are and who we long to become, but we often mistake what others believe about us to be our “true identity”.

The truth is, we are not what other people think about us. Our identity is not defined by our absent parents, our peers, our colleagues, and the world around us. Just because I say that an apple is an orange does not make it so. The same applies to people who label you, reject you, and disregard you. Their evaluation is not the one that matters.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Each day, there are moments where someone else is sizing me up, whether their evaluation is true or false. I used to dwell upon such “possibilities”, fearful that I would be disliked, out of place, and alone. The older I get, the more I realize that it doesn’t matter what others think. Ultimately, my character, my choices, and my future are not in their hands.

You are created in the image of God. You are not worthless, a misfit, or a disappointment.

We are entering the Christmas season, which is a time where we remember the birth of Jesus. What we often neglect to meditate upon during this season is that Jesus was not some cute baby who would eventually, ya know, die for people and stuff…No. This is much bigger.

God stepped into human flesh.

God stepped into time and space.

God breathed our fallen air.

God walked beside us.

God taught us His ways.

God called us back to life – the life that we were created to live before the fall of humanity.

God laid down His life as the sacrifice to redeem us…Emmanuel – “God with us”.

You are loved by God. Your life matters to Him more than you will ever know. Other people do care about you. You are not merely flesh and bone; you are an eternal creature with the fingerprints of God all over your being!

Your life does have purpose.

You are not a mistake.

Rejection has no right to tear you apart.