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It’s Alright To Tell Someone That They Hurt You

“It’s a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you’re hurt.” – Tom Gates

Bitterness is one of my favorite drugs of choice. Offend me? I will punish you in my mind. Will you know that you’re being punished? Probably not. Will it eat me up from the inside out? Yep.

Oftentimes, we are great at showing with our anger that we’ve been hurt, but we’re incredibly poor at simply saying the words “you hurt me”. Those words fester within our souls, but our minds get lost within a world of revenge, pain, and insecurity that we can’t think straight.

We’ve all tried it once – telling someone that they hurt us with their words or their actions – but then it backfired. If you’re like me, you’re afraid that you will come across as weak, insecure, and vulnerable. In fact, some people will exploit your honesty for their own ends, seeing that you’re a wounded soul in search for healing. Yet, even when the words “I’m hurting” do nothing but bring the bully out in the wrongdoer, we often free ourselves from our own prison of anger when we live in honesty, not secrecy.

This popular saying is overused, but I’ll use it anyway:

Bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping that our enemy dies. 

Anger, bitterness, and hurt can destroy us. I’m not saying that we should invite everyone back into our lives. In fact, there are many relationships that we must remove from our lives to reach the full potential for which we were created. However, forgiveness, an honest admission of hurt, and the choice to move into the future without dragging the past along will bring healing.

Are you holding on to bitterness towards someone else? Have you taken the time to share with them in a gentle approach how their words or actions have hurt you?

Stop drinking the poison. You’ve got too much ahead of you to remain in the offenses of yesterday.