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God Is Good, But Will He Listen?

The sun is shining, the birds are tweeting (no, not that kind of tweeting), and the breeze feels like a perfect day at the beach. As I sit on my apartment patio enjoying the view, my heart should be happy…I know it. My faith in God should be strong…I know that too.

Yet, right now, in this very moment, I’m terrified. Terrified of what comes next. I’ve always associated with the Apostle Peter more than any other, primarily because he had the same weakness: doubt.

Doubt is coursing through my veins like a drug poisoning my soul…I’ve been experiencing great difficulty this past week and I’m wondering where God is in the mess…

I write about thoughts on God, dreams, creativity, and brokenness, often sharing my opinions from a very strong and confident position. Don’t get me wrong, I believe those things with all of my heart, but I’m still a human being who suffers and falls into seasons of doubt. This is such a season.

“God is good but will He listen?” 

– U2, “Staring At The Sun”

I’ve often asked this question…Maybe that’s why I’ve always loved the lyrics written by Bono: they’re honest, not full of pomp and pretense.

God, I know You are good; I’ve seen You in action many times before. And yet, when life gets out of control, do You even hear my cries for help? Am I just a speck on earth, completely lost in the crowd? My faith says You’re with me, but the doubt in my heart says You’re gone. One side of my soul believes; the other side of my soul doubts.

I’m not full of any answers about why God allows things in life to be unfair and unjust. All I know is that I’m left with my faith and doubt at war…And maybe that’s alright. Maybe I’m OK. Maybe God can use that little piece of faith that’s wandering around somewhere within my soul.

Until the day that I can see more clearly, I will trust that God is with me, that He cares, and that His grace is sufficient.

That’s all I know to say…

2 Comments

  1. Katie Katie

    Andrew,

    Thank you for writing this article/blog. And after reading this one, I read like 2 more. I found your article through ur Instagram (we happen to be following each other), and I’m so glad I gave it a chance. I do not always take the time to check out different peoples blogs because I’m either too lazy or too busy. I really like how simple, raw, and so genuine your words are. It speaks right to me. I also read in ur bio that you used to be or want to be an actor, which is so cool. U never hear about the struggling ones. When I first moved to Tennessee 4 years ago, I tried it out but was so intimidated because my acting coach was very focused on trying to make me “famous”. Btw her husband is an actor and he’s now in that Miracles from Heaven movie and he started from scratch. All in all, my acting coach and her husband are great people.
    But anyways, about this article specifically, as soon as I finished reading it, Matt. 6:25-34 came to my mind. It reminds me of how each of us thinks our life is so important that whenever something goes wrong, it feels like tomorrow won’t happen until we fix today. But in reality each of our lives is a tiny speck in the sand. I’m not saying life is not important, just that the world is at constant change, and if you lost in this situation, you’ll win in the next. Losing sometimes brings into an even greater win than we’ve had before. So keep on truckin’!!

    P.S. I also really liked the, “Comfortable in My Own Skin” article, and I wanted to quote you on Twitter in the paragraph before the Anberlin quote, but it didn’t let me copy it.

    God bless you and ur family during these struggles!

    -Katie

    • Katie,

      Thank you so much for taking time to say this! Trust me, I totally get it about not reading every blog I see…But thanks for giving mine a look! Your prayers are very appreciated, so know that this was of great encouragement to me to read this morning. 🙂

      – Andrew

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